Saturday, January 29, 2011

77*

this family....
what do i say about a family that is so special to me?  

paloma is soooo incredibly sexy yet sooo humble.   a super smarty pants yet so relatable.   the kind of woman you want to get to know, share a bottle of wine with and laugh until your sides hurt.  

and nolan.. the definition of a fair and honest man.  not only is he handsome - he is one of the most logical, considerate and intelligent people i have ever met.  plus, he is also known to totally rock the pirate look which the neighborhood children totally dig (and the mamas too )

and then there is joaquin... 

here i am without words.  
i love this little guy.  those eyes and that smile.. just such a pure sweet little one.   light and love radiates from him... you can't help but feel uplifted and hopeful in his presence.  

this family... 
they are something spectacular.

xo.
jen

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

76*

:: four people ::
:: twelve months ::
::  december edition::


let me tell you..  this photograph cracks me up.  we stopped on our way home from estes park for our holiday picture.    as you can tell it was snowing... a lot!  and it was cold.  whoa, it was cold!  i still have desert blood.  ya know, the kind where when its in the low 60's you break out a sweater and jeans and wrangle a pair of socks on feet that haven't even seen shoes other than flip flips in months.  that's me.... and here i am, without a coat, because i didn't want a jacket on in our holiday pic... not that my shirt is so wonderful, it has a gigantic stain on it, but mary's beautiful head is covering it up...  i'm funny...  ok, ok.  i am weird.

onto why this picture is so funny..

it was a saturday and we were looking for a perfect spot to hike... on our way to find a great new trail, we got lost and ended up in estes. when we arrived it was snowing so hard it was a whiteout!  no hiking to be had for us, especially since little sophia was super whiney and not at all interested in being out in the cold (she too has yet to adjust!)  so here we are in a majestic spot, so i hear - all i could see what white.. after a quick trip around estes, we venture home and on the way i am pestering mike to stop for a picture... now, mike is a perfectionist when it comes to finding the spot (when we met, he was the photographer in the relationship)..  he needs all the elements, light, sky, color, and crazy awesome rock formations are a bonus... usually i am right there with him, but i was in mama mode.. two whiney girls and no hiking.. i just wanted to stop and  take the damn picture.  so, i convinced him to stop at one of the pull offs, usually designated for slow drivers, and glory glory he listened (he usually pretends he can't hear me)!   we set up the tripod and timer and rushed into position and what would come by?  a snowplow.  a freaking snowplow is barreling towards our tripod... in a white out... ah!  that is what i am looking at in the picture... as you can see i put on my cheery fake smile and then high tailed it to the camera... lucky us, the snowplow driver swerved, saving our little camera...
once, we were back in the car.. we laughed and laughed.  well.. mike and i did... sophia and mary still whined...

that was kinda like our month in december... narrowly adverting disaster.  putting on our cherry faces and getting through it!  there was disappointment and a high hope crushed. there was whining and tears, but in the end we made it through.  lessons learned and we are better for it!

we celebrated christmas with a hundred dollar holiday.  i think we spent much less than $100 actually.. i made the girls waldorf dolls, and they turned out great!  then i sent out cards to everyone else.  it felt so great to simplify the holiday.  i thought it would be harder, since i love, love, love giving gifts. i usually make them, or buy from local independent artists...  but it felt right and good this year to go light.  simple and beautiful.  fires in the fireplace... movies and popcorn... snuggles on the couch while reading our own books.. hikes and trips to the park...  sipping on wine and tea... it was just so lovely.  it was simple and perfect.

sophia also turned two - and boy is she two!  wild and curious.  strong willed and so affectionate.  she is amazing!

ok.  i'd write more, but the girls are needing their mama.  and mama is needing some wine!

be well friends and happy 2011!

xo
jen

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

75*

being...

its the best gig ever.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

74*

i am back and i am putting on a happy face...

i've been feeling so much lately... so so so much and of such an array of emotions... 

i had many thoughts of giving up the business... not for the lack of love of photography, but for the lack of clarity and focus to move it in the direction i want it to grow..  i have a big desire to limit the type of photography i offer... i can't really describe it yet... the idea still brewing inside... but i can for sure is that it is love centered.  healing.  and accessible to everyone.  anyways. i'll post about it once i have decided how to explain this vision of mine to the world.

so... the rest of life... yeah... its been hard.  of course, it has been filled with countless blessings and perfectly ordinary wonderful moments... it is life, after all... messy and chaotic and ever changing... that is why this is all so beautiful... its temporary.  everything is constantly changing.  

everything changes... i've tried to hold that in my mind as we deal with the sale of our tucson house.

while, i never believed selling would be easy, i never imagined it would ever be such a heart-wrenching emotionally difficult process.  i realized i can no longer hold any emotional space for this massive issue i have absolutely no control over.  
no control. 
none.  
either buyers want it or not.  what i know is that it is a damn cute house, in a wonderful community, and listed so far below what we bought it for.... and that's all i can do.   

just yesterday, i sat down alone and promised myself to let it go... because everything, every single thing,  i was fretting over, i had no control over.  so i breathed deep and let it go.. 

and know what?   the elephant stepped off of my chest for the first time in months.  

it really was just as simple as that. 

good bye guilt, and shame, and feelings of inadequacy... now i am putting on my happy face because i am enough.  exactly who i am, exactly where i stand.   i am enough.